The calls come in.
The phone lines flash.
I press the broadcast button,
live-streaming to the mortal world:
"Rounding out the list
of this week's most-requested epics,
Witchy Woman by Apollonius of Rhodes
falls three spots to Number 5;
These Arms of Mine by Virgil
sails to the Number 4 position,
knocking Hesiod's Gotta Be Startin' Somethin'
out of the Top Five for the first time in a century;
Changes by Ovid
holds steady in the Number 3 spot;
while this week's biggest riser,
jumping three spots to Number 2,
is Stanky Legg by Homer; and
retaining the top spot
for the hundred and forty thousandth week in a row,
Homer's classic song about Achilles,
son of Peleus and Thetis,
whose fatal anger
dispatched many brave warriors to Hades's realm,
leaving their bodies
as spoils for dogs and carrion birds.
"Isn't that lovely?
"This week, the Caliope Channel is pleased to present
an unplugged cover of Rage!
recorded live in our studio,
high atop Mount Helicon.
"This rendition features
Agamemnon on keys,
Far-Shooting Apollo on the bass-lyre,
the vocal stylings of Briseis and Patroclus,
Hector providing counterpoint,
the percussive genius of Odysseus,
a backing orchestra of thousands
and our frontman,
bringing the song's eponymous fire.
"Rage! begins now.
Continuing from the end of The Iliad, an Amazon comes to Troy.